The Rock At 25: My First Church Movie

I first heard about “The Rock” at church. With the film celebrating its 25th anniversary this year - this meant I was 10 years old when fresh off hearing the gospel I also heard about a different type of gospel: The gospel of kickass action and Michael Bay. You see every Sunday after Church we would talk with other families outside the church about what was new. One of our family friends who knew I was a big movie guy told me he saw this movie called “The Rock” and it featured an amazing scene that quoted Elton John’s “Rocket Man” and it was fantastic. At this point in my life I was not familiar with Elton John nor was I remotely aware of what “The Rock” was. 

This all changed for me when I watched the film when it came out on VHS later that year - ironically with a bunch of kids from said church while our parents were having a dinner party. How ironic that one of my favorite action movies came to me from Church? Yeah, I don’t really get it either - but hey- maybe that’s why the movie is one part of the Nic Cage action trinity. But enough religious talk - let’s talk about how “The Rock” is the fuckin’ best.

Sean Connery & Director Michael Bay

The film is directed by god tier cinematic auteur Michael Bay and it shows in almost every way. Visually the film is drenched in Michael Bay’s hyper cool style - lots of low angle shots, hyper saturated colors, and chaotic action that is easy to follow with clear camera set-ups and -while the film’s story has some complexities (mostly with Ed Harris General Hummel) like Bay’s other masterpiece Bad Boys II - the film prioritizes incredibly COOL action over story. Why does Sean Connery’s character have to navigate a machine full of slicing blades and fiery blasts of death? Because it looks cool, that’s why. Why is there a minecart theme park ride underneath Alcatraz? Because it’s great for an action scene. And why does Sean Connery just radiate badass energy for the whole movie - because Bay clearly is in awe of him and just sets the whole film to work around him wasting bad guys and dropping one-liners to anyone and everyone!

Speaking of Connery - this movie has a stacked cast of dramatic actors and ,while Bay would go on to work with some great talent in his still continuing career, this film is the one with the most “real” actors. Nicolas Cage had just won an Oscar for “Leaving Las Vegas,” Sean Connery had an Oscar for “The Untouchables,” and Ed Harris had just been nominated for “Apollo 13.” And outside of the power trio - the supporting cast around them is strong. David Morse, John C McGinley, John Spencer, Bokeem Woodbine, Michael Biehn, Tony Todd and more are all chewing scenery in an awesome way.  But let’s get back to Cage here for a moment because his performance is legendary here. He’s weird enough that you buy that he’s a nerdy scientist who loves The Beatles, but also tough enough that when he has to kick-ass you buy it. Later films in the world of Cage would either lean into the weird factor too much or present him as a super action hero - both of which never work. But here - he’s perfect.

But most of all - the reason the film endures and why it’s up there with “Aliens” as a movie I’m confident will blow my kids minds when I show it to them at a sleepover is that it’s almost a perfect action movie. It has everything you need:

• Stakes - You see the virus melt someone's face off in the first 5 minutes

• Car Chases - Hummers, Lambos, and those San Fran Hills

• Cool Military Shit - Motion sensors, underwater submarines, Navy Seals, fighter jets - it’s all here!

• Endless One Liners - From the “Losers Always Whine About Their Best,” to the “Rocketman” line to everything in between - everything is quotable

• Explosions - In San Francisco streets, the entire island, underground - a lot of stuff blows up and looks great

• Conspiracies - Sean Connery’s character is basically James Bond (great video about that here), he knows the secrets, he knows about JFK. Note, I told my Dad I wanted to watch more JFK stuff after this and he was like...let’s wait on that

• Shoot Outs - The shower shootout gets all the praise (as it should) but I’m partial to the shootout in the morgue when Connery shoots out an AC unit crushing somebody

I do have one substantial problem with the film and that is the lack of female representation. There are literally two (2!) actresses in the entire movie and while both are very pretty they are nowhere near fleshed out characters. Nic Cage's wife and Sean Connery’s daughter both seemingly exist just to represent “important civilians who may die if the heroes mess up” and that’s a huge bummer. Even Bay’s other masterpiece “Bad Boys II” has a female character that , while a “damsel in distress,” does actually get to fight and kick-ass. For me I always felt like “The Rock” was missing a badass lady to round out the team - in fact no disrespect to the Cage maestro but the film would have worked really well if the Cage character was a woman!

I’m not trying to bash on “The Rock,” as it’s one of my favorite flicks and one that I come back to frequently. After this movie Bay would go on to make “Armageddon,” a massive action movie with huge stakes but not enough shoot outs or car chases. Cage would go on to go between action flicks (Face/Off, Con Air, Gone In 60 Seconds) and dramas (City Of Angels, Bringing Out The Dead). As for Connery - outside of Finding Forrester - it was mostly downhill from here.

Nic Cage offering up his sacrifice. Nic Cage is Jesus?

So here’s to “The Rock” on it’s 25th anniversary - perhaps there is another analysis of the film that connects in a more meaningful way to Church (hey, some of the imagery is there) but I don’t think there is. I could probably say this movie baptized me in (Michael) Bay but I don’t know if I’ve had all of my sacraments.  But seriously, this is a movie that is fun, it’s kick-ass, it’s really easy to explain and hype to people. Most of all that’s the legacy of the film - established concept and almost flawless execution. It’s a movie where Sean Connery and Nicolas Cage have to stop Ed Harris who’s taking over Alcatraz from destroying San Francisco with chemical weapons. Just typing that sentence has got me ready to light some green smoke and say my prayers of gratitude for the cinematic deities for blessing us with this movie!

Carol's Colors: My Experience Watching The Lesbian Drama "Carol"

This article is one in a series where I watch films that have been recommended to me by friends. Often times these films are different than the movies I usually watch. It’s 2021 baybee, time to broaden those horizons.

This past weekend on its fifth anniversary of release, I watched the lesbian romantic drama “Carol” (currently on Netflix) for the first time. I did it because my friends recommended it to me and I wanted a film that would tell me a story that was very different from my own. I watch a lot of content, read a lot of books, and play a lot of video games. More often than not, the stories I’m consuming have a male protagonist and an ample amount of explosions (either literal or metaphorical, ideally both) - so “Carol” a mostly quiet film about a lesbian romance between the main character (an awe inspiring Cate Blanchett) and young woman named Therese (Rooney Mara) in the 1950’s was the perfect film for me to watch to broaden my horizons.

The film opens with an extended shot of a subway grate. You can hear a train rumbling, although it sounds more like a force from within the earth. This is a sound metaphor as the film’s core narrative is about how people’s longings and desires come from a place deep within themselves, kind of emotionally primal, but not in a barbaric way. After that opening shot the film is pretty much bathed in a glorious shimmery hue of 1950’s New York City: bright neon lights, radiant period clothes, and urban colors straight out of an Edward Hopper painting. Yet beneath this shiny sheen lies another world - a world of desires not accepted by the status quo. In an epic yet subtle move by director Todd Haynes as things get more dire and sad for our characters in the story, the color palette of the film becomes more muted and dull. 

Speaking of Haynes (himself a gay man), this guy is putting on a masterclass in “showing not telling” storytelling! My favorite is how he shows the difference between the worlds through a visual language that frequently places objects between characters. A lot of times it’s car windows, sometimes it’s a table, or in one of the film’s most breathtaking shots - it’s a whole apartment between two people drawn to each other because they recognize they are different. Another moment in the film literally has a character breaking through these barriers for nefarious purposes but I won’t spoil that here. This type of visual storytelling does wonders for the movie as the caliber of the filmmaking on display here supercharges the drama between the characters!

It helps that Cate Blanchett is positively “gawd tier or should I say goddess tier” in her role. She radiates cool female energy - smoking cigarettes, drinking martinis, and driving around Manhattan in the top down convertible with her friend!  I think a lot of mainstream audiences may know Cate Blanchett from her genre work in the “Lord Of The Rings” or “Thor:Ragnarok” but the propulsive confidence that she carries with those more fantastical roles is still present here, albeit in a different form. I love that she’s this confident woman who knows what she wants, a rad flip of the cool guy 50’s New York businessman mythos (think Don Draper). In another connected Universe she would cross paths with Don Drapes himself and I’m sure the encounter would be interesting!

I’ll be honest I definitely kind of went into the movie expecting it to be some kind of rosetta stone to understand queer romance. So when it ended and I didn’t feel like I had discovered the secret truth of lesbianism I was briefly like - damn, how did I miss it?  This led me to two truths - both pretty obvious! The first is that I’ve never been a lesbian romance in my life - so how would I understand every single element of the queer experience portrayed here. The second is the most obvious one - the foundations of every love story are the same. All types of people meet through simple or wild ways. People fall in love in magical or simple ways. And people fall in love for simple or complex reasons. Love for everyone regardless of their gender or where they land on the sexual identity spectrum is the same!

Now I would hate to be the cheeseball that adds this article by saying my takeaway from this beautifully told story is “love is love,” but I think that might be it. So rather I’ll leave with a line from the movie, love, just like the amazing symphony of warm colors the film serenades its characters with, is for everyone: “Love is a “perpetual sunrise.”

I AM HYPE - My Most Anticipated Content - 2020 Edition

2020 is going to be a big year for content. Unlike 2019 which was the year of the finale (Game Of Thrones, Star Wars, and the MCU all had their current forms “end”) - 2020 is the year of big new movies and content. Don’t freak out though, I’m still showing up and showing out for my franchises - in fact more than half my list is sequels! So let’s jump into my most anticipated content of 2020. Some of it you may know and others you may not! I’ve broken it down by video games, movies, Tom Hanks, and TV.

GAMES

The Last Of Us Part II (Game - May)

It’s been seven years since the first Last Of Us game blew everyone’s minds with it’s incredible characters, moving story, shocking violence, and powerful statement on just what a video game can be. Well, now it’s back and from what we’ve seen so far it looks epic in every way. If Red Dead Redemption II re-defined what a video game narrative can be - I’m expecting this game to do the same. The gameplay released has been intense, the game is so epic in scope it takes two discs to play, and most of all the protagonist Ellie looks like she is ready to kick ass, kiss her girlfriend, and slay some monsters and some tunes on the guitar.

Halo:Infinite (Fall)

The launch title for the new XBOX console also just happens to be a soft reboot of my second favorite video game franchise of all time (first is GTA). I’m eagerly anticipating this not just because it is surely going to have amazing graphics and show off the shiny new console - but because the last game in the series was NOT GOOD. Never before has a sequel/remake had to do the heavy lifting of launching a console, regaining fan trust, and being incredibly fun and entertaining.

MOVIES

Tenet (July 17th)

Christopher Nolan’s always brings the heat. I remember seeing his last movie Dunkirk in theaters and almost jumping out of my chair in the final action because of how tense it was. Well, he’s back with a movie that looks hugely ambitious (shot it in seven countries!) and pretty damn mind-blowing. It looks like an espionage thriller with time travel/manipulation elements (think Inception) and features a stacked cast including John David Washington (from Black Klansmannn), Robert Pattinson, and Kenneth Branagh. I caught the prologue for it in December and the whole thing just looks intense in the best ways. Smart, thrilling, blockbusters don’t get any better.

Fast 9 ( May 22nd)

At this point you know what this franchise is about: over the top action and then more over the top action. However Fast 9 has one massively crucial task and if it doesn’t get there, well shit, I don’t want to think about it. IT HAS TO SET UP THE FAST 10 MOVIE TO HAVE A SPACE ELEMENT. The franchise “ends” with 10 and if we don’t see Vin Diesel driving on the rings of Saturn, I’m going to need to “Tenet” myself back to 2001 to forget this franchise existed.

Dune (December 18)

Full disclosure to all your Sci-Fi nerds and cultists - I’ve never read this book. Maybe I’ll tackle it this year. Or maybe I’ll just wait til director Denis Villeneuve and cinematographer Roger Deakins cook up some of that Blade Runner 2049 magic with another science fiction tale. The cast here is loaded with Javier Bardem, Timothee Chalamet (shoutout to the Tim’s out there), Oscar Issac and many more holding it done. I’m ready for that big screen science fiction action baybeeee!

Top Gun: Maverick (June 26th

I always laugh when people make fun of Tom Cruise for being “crazy” or a “scientologist” or whatever. Who cares! Let him live! Specifically let him keep making incredible action movies with practical effects that take your breath away. I’m in for this movie for the flight sequences alone. I guess I’m also in for the soundtrack and the fact that actor Glen Powell (who plays one of the fighter pilot) is a favorite in our household.

Wonder Woman 1984 (June 4th)

My mind was not blown by Wonder Woman, but I’m pumped for this one - mostly because its first trailer is a propulsive blast of energy and sold me on the movie right away. I’m essentially hoping for a super-heroine version of ATOMIC BLONDE aka all kickass action scenes and 80’s needle drops.

The Tax Collector (TBD)

2019 was the year that Shia Labeoff showed his sentimental side in movies like “Peanut Butter Falcon” and “Honey Boy.” 2020 is the year we get back to full psycho Shia and I’m all for it. From director David Ayer (“End Of Watch”) the film is a gritty gangster drama that I’m not sure will be good but I’m sure Shia will be interesting in it. Let’s go Shia! Keep challenging yourself and your fans!

Da 5 Bloods (TBD)

In 2006, Spike Lee made the amazing and underrated “Inside Man.” He cashed in the success of that movie with a war movie “The Miracle Of St Anna” which was poorly well received. And now the cycle repeats itself - Spike Lee won his first Oscar with “BlackKklansman” and now he’s back with another war epic - “Da 5 Bloods.” The film tells the story of a group of Vietnam Veterans who return back to Vietnam to find their squad leader’s remains and buried treasure. The cast is a powerful mix of black actors including Chadwick Boseman, Jonathan Majors, Delroy Lindo, and Clarke Peters. I’m rooting for Spike!

TOM HANKS

-  Yes, he has his own category because he has 3 movies all which sound like fascinating stories that will speak to our modern life through the many different genres.

Greyhound (May)

Hanks plays a WWII submarine commander battling German U-Boats in the Atlantic while dealing with his own self doubt and questions of faith. This basically sounds like “War Hanks,” which if you’ve seen “Saving Private Ryan” is a great Hanks. Submarine movies are always super tense affairs and I can’t wait for this one.

BIOS (October)

Sci-Fi Hanks doesn’t pop up often, but when it does (like in Cloud Atlas) it almost always speaks to our current era through bold stories. This film BIOs takes place in a post apocalyptic wasteland and sees Hanks playing an inventor and the last man on earth building a robot to protect the life of his beloved dog after he dies. I’m not crying science fiction tears you are.

News Of The World (December)

Hanks re-teams with “Captain Phillips” director Paul Greengrass for this story about a journalist who must escort a young girl to her relatives in the aftermath of the American Civil War. Greengrass specializes in bringing a gritty realism to human stories and my hope is that by by tackling both journalism and civil strife in American - we’ll get a great story that’s revelvant to today’s world!

TV SHOWS

LoveCraft Country (TBD)

This one was on my list last year and of course is back again. A magic realism take on racism - the show is adapted from the book of the same name and chronicles a family’s experiences with racism and institutionalized magic in civil rights America. I loved actor Jonathan Major’s work in the 2019 movie “The Last Black Man In San Francisco” and I’m looking forward to his work here. The show also comes from executive producer Jordan Peele and I hope he is able to conjure his social commentary of “Get Out” with some genre thrills. 

Y The Last Man (TBDs)

Based on one of my favorite comic books - this story is about what happens to Yorrick Brown, the last man on earth after all the males suddenly die. He navigates a female dominated world with his monkey sidekick. It sounds like “The Handmaid’s Tale” meets “The Walking Dead,” which is enough to get me to tune in. It airs on FX sometime this year.

Westworld (March 15th)

Westworld is a challenging, confusing, and also action packed with amazing ideas and kick-ass sci-fi action. The new season is a “soft-reboot” for the series with most of the action taking place outside the park in a futuristic vision of the year 2052 complete with robots, gleaming cities, and a very angsty Aaron Paul getting in the mix with the hosts.

Barry (TBD)

Believe me, I was surprised as anyone to discover that a “comedy” series with Bill Hader playing a hitman who gets into acting is actually a “comedy” series with kick-ass action, huge laughs, and amazing characters like the god tier character of NoHo Hank. I can’t wait to see where this zany black comedy goes in a new season.

The Good Lord Bird (February 16th)

I’ve always been fascinated with John Brown, the famed abolitionist and who took up arms against the government before the civil war began. Sure, there are other shows that I’m geeked about (FX’s “Devs” and Amazon’s “Underground Railroad) being the standout - but John Brown is a lightning rod figure and these are lightning rod times, I’m pumped! This mini-series on Showtime sees Ethan Hawke play John Brown, “Hamilton’s” Daveed Diggs play Frederick Douglass, and Wyatt Russell as J.E.B. Stuart the man who took John Brown down. I hope this story is insightful and action packed.

There you have it. All my picks. I’m sure I’m missing something. Last year’s top pick was AD-ASTRA and it didn’t disappoint! What are you looking to this year? What did I miss? 

The Revenant's Cinematic History

I "experienced" "The Revenant" last night and while there is no doubt that it's visual grandeur and filmmaking style is truly next level - I'm still a little muddled on how much I actually liked the film. It clearly was striving for masterpiece status and the whole film just left me feeling -- nothing. Well that's not true - I felt that Leo physically gave it his all for the Oscar, which is cool I guess, but some kind of statement about the universe - not so much. You see, the whole time I was watching it I couldn't shake the feeling that it was a mash-up of a whole bunch of classic films that didn't really congeal into the truly moving masterpiece it wanted to be. So here are some of the films that the Revenant pulls from and why you should check them out. 

The New World (2005) - These two films have a ton in common. The first is that they share legendary cinematographer Emmanuel Lubezki, a guy so legendary he has his own type of lightning called "chivo." The second is that they're all about how men interact with nature and the impact that the wild has on their souls. "The Revenant" seems to say that we are powerless in the face of the land, which I get, but I much prefer "The New World" for it's joyous celebration of how the land can provide such joy, happiness, and ultimately truth. I know these are different types of stories - but the "The New World" just captures the balance between man and nature.

Apocalypto (2006) - "The Revenant" boasts some pretty amazing action sequences featuring people fighting people, animals and the elements - but while seeing people take arrows to the throat is shocking they only succeed at being gruesome rather than thrilling. And don't say that it wasn't supposed to be entertaining - you don't spend CG dollars on horses going off cliffs if you don't want to entertain people. And so if you're looking for some sheer total wild nature based entertainment - Apocalypto is clearly your best bet. The movie is basically one giant chase scene through the jungle where Jaguar Paw (above) pretty much wrecks everyone. The movie rules (yeah I know Mel Gibson sucks). 

Jeremiah Johnson (1972) - This is a story similar to the Revenant in that it's about one man's journey into the harsh elements of nature to find himself and in some cases to avenge his family. However this movie succeeds where "The Revenant" fails because it creates some amazing wilderness characters including BearClawJack and Pants Suit Red.

The Grey (2011) - Unjustly known as the Liam Neeson vs wolves movie, The Grey excels at showing what the wilderness does to a man's faith. Sharing a similar frosty setting The Grey covers a lot of the same thematic ground and also ends with an epic showdown of sorts. However I suspect that more people will remember the final scene of "The Grey" more than the end of "The Revenant" because everything that comes before carries a little more weight.

The Last Of The Mohicans (1992) - Building off that Jermiah Johnson point, one thing I didn't really like about "The Revenant" was that I had no sense of the characters in the film. "The Last Of The Mohicans" really establishes not just Hawkeye as a character but also the Native American family that anchors the film. In addition this film is the best combo of epic nature shots, actors going all in on being in nature, badass action, romance (yeah I said it) and just overall storytelling of all the films on the list. Easily one of my favorites. 

I realize that as reading this you might think I didn't like "The Revenant," which is not really the case. I found it to be visually stunning but shoddily paced. My hope is that if you got off on the naturalism, action, and overall feel you'd like all these movies above. Let me you know if you check em out. 

My Most Anticipated 2016 Movies

2015 was the year that I learned two core things about my movie going preferences. The first one is that while I am slowly growing out of them (really slowly, like snail slow yo) I still love blockbuster spectacle. The second thing is that I have a habit (whether it is bad or good I'll let you decide) of getting ultra hyped for movies. So in the spirit of getting hyped up mostly for blockbusters - here are my most anticipated movies of 2016. 

1. Passengers (December 21st) - There was a period of my life where I was reading lots of screenplays and in that period - this one stands out as the most memorable. A funny, honest, and heart warming story about a guy (played by everyone's favorite Chris Pratt) who wakes up 60 years too early on a long space voyage and decides to wake up his dream girl (played by everyone's favorite Jennifer Lawrence) so he doesn't have to spend his time (aka die) alone. That is a kind of a morbid sounding description, but trust me, if it is anything like the screenplay - this could be an amazing movie. 

2. Star Wars: Rogue One - Surprise, I'm pumped about a Star Wars movie! Although this is probably not the Star Wars movie your are looking for, Disney is alternating the episodic Star Wars movies each year so in 2016 we won't get a continuation of Luke's story but rather a prequel to A New Hope. Focusing on the humans (aka non-jedis) who stole the plans for the original death star - this movie will hopefully be a new kind of Star Wars movie. At it's best it could be a kind of Fast & Furious style heist movie and at it's worst it may just make you yearn for light sabers. 

3. Midnight Special - I mean just watch that trailer and tell me you aren't immensely intrigued. 

4. Captain America: Civil War - The previous Captain America movie was easily my favorite of all the Marvel movies and this one looks to build on it in every way and then some. I would be stoked even if this movie didn't have him fighting Iron Man, but uh, it has him and seemingly every Avenger except Thor & Hulk battling each other. Most of all I'm just excited to see his story with his childhood friend Bucky continue as I find it to be the most emotionally rewarding of all the super-hero plots. Yeah, I said it's emotional rewarding and it is a super hero movie.

5. Bourne 5 - Peep that clip from The Bourne Ultimatum. Now realize that Damon and his mastermind director Paul Greengrass are returning to the franchise with a story that is apparently Snowden inspired and will have Bourne fight/elude/destroy in Vegas and other locations around the world. Yes, please!

6. Knight of Cups - Here's a fun fact you may not know about me based off of this list: I love Terrence Malick movies. You know the ones that are more tone poems than movies, the ones that people either say are mystifying/spiritual or baloney/nonsense. I just love how he combines the moving image with symbolism, meaning, and thematic weight. Enough flowery hyperbole - his new movie Knight Of Cups comes out this year and stars Christian Bale, Natalie Portman, and a whole host of other people. It's about a screenwriter who's looking for his soul in a sea of Hollywood depravity. Sounds amazing. 

7. Sausage Party - An R-Rated animated story about one sausage's quest to find out where he came from. Fully jammed with a hilarious voice cast including Danny McBride, Jonah Hill, Edward Norton, Seth Rogen, James Franco and Paul Rudd. This is like the pseudo spiritual sequel to "This Is The End" which is a masterpiece.  

8.10 Cloverfield Lane - I was so insanely roped into the hype around Cloverfield when it first came out 8 years ago. I wrote multiple articles about it all of which are like time capsules of my previous movie going self (just kidding the read the same, nothing has changed!) that when I saw this "blood relative" sequel to it I lost my shit. Don't care if only it's a passing mention to the events of that movie - the plot alone here about some people trapped in a survivalist bunker with John Goodman sounds amazing enough. 

9. Doctor Strange - Another year another Marvel movie that sounds bizarre on paper but will surely turn out to be amazing. Yeah call me a fanboy, but it is hard not to get stoked about a cast that includes: Benedict Cumberbatch, Tilda Swinton, Rachel McAdams, and Chiwetel Ejiofor.

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10. The Witch - Here's one you may not have heard of but is getting a TON of hype, all of it rooted in the fact that it is immensely creepy. Remember those scenes from The Crucible where the kids are out in the woods with "the witch?" This looks like that times a million. Buckle up. 

Wild-Card Contenders: These are films which could either be amazing, average, or trash - but either way I'm intrigued

• The Founder - About how Ray Crocc (Michael Keaton) stole McDonalds from the the McDonald's family
• The Girl On The Train - The book was pretty solid so this could be good as well. A new "Gone Girl"
• The BFG - Spielberg in full Blockbuster mode, I can get pumped I guess
• The Magnificent Seven - A mega star studded remake of the western classic. With a cast including Denzel Washington & Chris Pratt you would think we'd already be getting press about it.
• Batman Vs Superman: Dawn Of Justice - Only really curious cause I think it's going to be a train-wreck
• Suicide Squad - Only curious cause FURY and END OF WATCH were amazing. 
• Independence Day 2: Nostalgia carried Jurassic World, maybe it can do the same here?